One Is The Loneliest Number
by Mariella Montgomery
Summary: Addek-one-shot set in mid season 2. What if Addison wouldn't have let Derek treat her like he did in season 2?


Hey guys,

this little Addek one-shot came to my mind, so I wrote it down.

Some information:

- The one-shot is set mid season 2 Greys Anatomy.

- The title "One (is the loneliest number)" is by Aimee Mann. I didn't name it for a special reason after that song, but I like it and listened to it while writing. ;)

Have fun and I would be so happy if you reviewed.

Love Mariella

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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**One is the loneliest number**

Addison was standing at the NICU and watched the babies. They had their whole life ahead of them. They hadn't done any mistakes just yet, they would love, hate, cry, laugh and everything that life would give them. When she thought about it, she hadn't laughed in forever, hadn't even smiled a true smile. The only ones she was giving was the fake smiles, that she had practiced to nearly perfection when she lived with her parents in Connecticut. Only very few people noticed the difference between the two smiles. Nae, Savy and Mark always noticed and Derek used to notice it too. Past tense, she thought, he noticed back then, but now she had the feeling he didn't look at her at all. She hated to admit it, but she didn't feel confident like she used to be, she was always that kick-ass surgeon and before that top in med school, people were giving her credit for that and also she knew they looked at her for her look. Things had changed so much in the last years. She was a world class OB/GYN and still she had to tell that herself, before she went to conferences or functions to pretend she still was the person she used to be. Every hospital had sent her more than one offer to work there, she was desirable by everyone, only one didn't desire her anymore. The one person she cared about most, stopped noticing her, sent over his best friend for birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. He didn't kiss her in the hallways like he used to or tried to sneak away with her all the time. He simply stopped noticing her. She was so sick off to feel like this. She liked the person she was once upon a time back in New York. The girl, who went from the high school geek, who played in the school band and wore glasses and braces to the kick-ass surgeon with the good look. She wanted to be like that again and she noticed she would never be like this here in Seattle. Here in Seattle she was the adulterous bitch, who cheated on her perfect, dream-like husband. The cheater, the bad one, satan. She could live with the fact that not everyone loved her like the loved Derek, when he only flashed a charming smile, but a whole hospital against her. She couldn't handle that and she only noticed now, that she didn't want to handle it and that she was too important to let herself down for a marriage, a husband, who didn't want her.

The next morning everyone was turning their head, when she entered the hospital. She always looked good, but today she was radiant. She wore a Prada dress, with matching Manolos heels, which were that high that everyone else would have looked ridiculous wearing it, and her auburn hair was shining. But it wasn't only her clothes and her hair, it was her whole attitude. She looked confident and sure of herself, like she knew what a kick-ass surgeon she was. She went straight to Derek's office. He said "Come in", when he heard the knocking. When she entered he wasn't ready for the view. She didn't look miserable like she did the last weeks. He looked up at her. "You need anything?"

"Actually yes." She looked straight into his eyes. "You know Derek, I don't need this. You, your attitude or Seattle. I know what Mark and I did was so wrong on more than one level. I slept with your best friend, but you know what?! What you do is thousand times worse. You make yourself the victim here, you pretend, that I'm the bad one, the adulterous bitch, satan and you're the poor husband, who was cheated on, but you send Mark over all the time. All the time! For birthdays and every freaking holiday, this isn't an excuse for what I did, but didn't it ever come to your mind that I would have loved to spend some time with my husband. The one I chose, the one I married, but you know what this man, he's gone. Not since I slept with Mark, he was gone long before that. I always got what I wanted, I wanted to go to Yale without my parents money and I got in. I wanted to go to Columbia med school and I got in, because I got good marks. In med school I was top of our class like in internship and residency and I am one of the best OB/GYN surgeons, because I worked for that. I worked my ass off for all of that. I'm not looking up to you and idolize you, because I knew you worked as hard as me to get where you are now. For me you're not McDreamy, you never were. For me you always were Derek, nothing more or less. I'm not like your little girlfriend, who gets giddy, when you only flash a smile. I'm strong Derek and because of that I won't do that anymore. I can't do that anymore." She laid the divorce papers on his desk, they were signed. Derek looked at her confused "Addison …"

"No, I'm not Meredith Grey, I will never be and seriously I don't want to be. I like to be confident and a kick-ass surgeon and that I'm so much better than a lot of other people at being a surgeon. So Derek, do what you want, I seriously don't care anymore." She turned around.

"Addison, give me at least …"

"The chance to explain? I wanted you Derek and I still want and love you, but I won't do that to me anymore, because it will break me as a person and I'm not ready to get broken over that. Go and tell Meredith I will leave as soon as possible and you can finally be together. Maybe she's the one for you, because obviously I'm not. I'm strong and we used to be EQUALS in our relationship, I loved that about us. But looking at Meredith that's not what you want anymore. I'm not the kind of woman to look up at her husband. I have board certifications in Obestrics and Gynaecology AND Maternal and Fetal Medicine and managed to be an medical genetics fellow also. I'm not saying that Meredith won't be a good doctor one day, but right now she looks up to you, I was never like that and I'll never be." Before Derek had the chance to say anything she left him stood dumbfound at his office.

A few days later Derek entered Richard's office. "Do you have a minute Richard?"

Richard looked up at the younger surgeon, nodded to the chair across his desk and looked at Derek. "What's going on?"

Derek sat down and was silent a moment before he started. "Ahm …. I was wondering … do you know where Addie is?"

Richard looked at him astonished. "I thought you knew …"

"What exactly?"

"She brought me her resignation papers two days ago and left Seattle. She told me that your marriage wasn't working anymore and that it was best if she left."

Derek felt a sting in his heart. "She told you that?"

"Yes."

"Did she leave for New York?"

"Derek, she told me …"

"Not to tell me? I get it Richard, I get why she told you that, but please … we're not divorced yet and … I noticed what a jerk I have been. I hate to admit it, but with Addie finishing a double certification and a fellowship when I only did one certification … she's so brilliant. I don't know anyone else, who's that bright. I knew that from the start, but she needed me back in med school, she was unsure and didn't even really know who bright, brilliant and beautiful she was. She outdid Mark and me in every test, in internship and residency, but it was ok for me, because I loved her so much, but I have to admit over the years … she had become the shining star in her field. I'm good too, but not like her and … she always was the strong one, no little wife that admired me and I loved that, but I failed to notice that in the last years. I wanted to keep up to her and got lost in work. Richard please, tell me where she is, she sent me signed divorced papers, but I don't want to divorce her."

Richard sighed. Derek and Addison had always been like children to him. "She's back in New York and from what I heard the chief at Mt. Sinai was more than happy to have her back."

Derek smiled at Richard. "Thanks, I will take a few days off."

Richard nodded. "I thought so and Derek … get to New York quickly and safe." Derek nodded and left Richard's office.

In New York it was Addison's first day back at work. Things had gone smoothly that far, when someone caught up with her at the nurse station. "So, seems like the gossip is true. You're back."

Addison turned around and saw Mark Sloan standing in front of her. "Mark." She smiled at him and hugged. "Good to see you."

"Sooo … you're back from Seattle."

"Yes."

"For good."

"Yes."

"And Derek?"

"He's in Seattle."

"Oh, so you're …?"

"Divorced? I don't know, I left him the signed divorced papers and hope he'll bring it to the lawyer soon. I have to talk to him about that, but right now … I simply don't feel like talking to him at all. I will take care of it when I'm settled here again."

Mark nodded. "Addie, I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you."

"Thanks, but we both know that things hadn't worked for a while for us."

Mark nodded. "So, are you up to celebrate tonight that you're back?" Addison hoisted her left eyebrow and looked at him skeptically. "No not like that …" Mark added fast. "I thought we could go out for a drinks or something. We could invite Savy and Weiss."

Addison smiled at him. "Sounds like a good idea to me." She smiled at Mark. "Thanks."

"My pleasure, I'm happy you're back."

"Yeah, me too."

In this moment Derek came up to the nurse station and saw Addison and Mark standing there. It seemed like they had fun and he didn't really like it at all. He went up to them. "Addison."

Addison turned around, surprised to see Derek standing in front of her. "Derek."

"You're surprised I'm here."

"Indeed. Did you come for a patient?"

"No."

"Your mother? One of your sisters?"

"No."

"Then, why are you here?"

"I'm here for you." He looked at her closely. "You told me everything you wanted to tell me, but I never had the chance to say anything."

Addison looked at him dumbfound. She didn't think he would really care what she told him or even say something in reply.

"Your office?"

Addison shrugged, told Mark to see him later and went with Derek to her office. "So, what's so important that you come out to New York and that you couldn't tell me via phone?"

"You were right with everything. I liked it that Meredith looked up to me. She was the complete opposite of you. Not only by her looks but also by her behavior towards me. She thinks of me as the big, great surgeon, you never did that. You know how hard it was to get where I am now. You always stand up for yourself, even as an intern, you accepted that you were out of some surgeries, because you told your honest opinion, which wasn't always liked by everyone. You're the strong one, always were. You helped me and Mark through med school, internship and residency. You always were and still are the one that stand out. I tried so hard to keep up with you and there was a time when it was so hard for me to accept that you are the more brilliant one of us, but you are. This was the reason I worked so much, I wanted to stand out too. I wanted that you looked up to me … Addie, please don't reply anything to that, because I know how stupid and old-fashioned this sounds. I don't want Meredith. I don't want someone, who adores me, but I want you. I want my strong and kick-ass wife. I didn't sign the divorce papers." He laid them down at her desk. "And I won't sign them. Please Addie, I want a second chance. I want to be your husband again. Give us, our marriage another try."

"Derek, I don't think I'm strong enough for …"

"You were always the strong one, give me a chance to be the strong one. Give me, us a chance to fix this. I won't let you down ever again and I will agree to your conditions."

"My conditions?"

"Tell me what I should do that you give our marriage another try and I'll agree."

Addison looked at him for a while. "I won't go back to Seattle."

"Alright."

"And I love the brownstone, we won't sell it. We can redecorate it completely if that's what you want, but I won't let any other people live there." Derek nodded at that.

"And we have to start over. I mean really start over again. Go on dates and things like this and take it slow."

"Slow is good. Does this mean that you agree to make it work?"

"Under my conditions and that you agree to be equals again."

"I agree Addison. I would agree to anything if you stay married to me."

Addison looked at him. She didn't think he was serious about that, but obviously he was. He leaned in until their noses nearly touched. "Are you ok, if I kiss you now?"

Addison looked at him for a short while and then closed the last distance.

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Pretty please review. 3


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